I stare lifelessly at this empty screen… In total shock and awe from the sarcastic track that was laid down by Grandmaster B-RAD the Blog Overlord… I felt a certain mist fill my eyes as I thoroughly enjoyed the cryptic message he produced and even having to refer to my lexicon of DOOM to translate the quintessential adjectives of his vernacular aptitude… or maybe it was from the gut wrenching laughter of his poetry in motion and description of bloody flem rockets fired by Captain Buttbeard! Alas I have returned to the helm and assumed control of the Federation media portal.
Today is a welcomed down day for the adventuresome and exhausted group of Gringos. We ventured off in to the wilds of Honduras today, adventure say you… adventure say I. We caravan together to the parlous wilds, penetrating deep into the bush of south central Honduras, in search of the sacred Rio Alph once again.
Senor Mario at the helm of the land yacht today rolling coal through the valley towards San Pedro while avoiding enormous potholes, school busses and a near full frontal impact with a Mack truck! We cruised along the national highway for a short distance only to awaken the demons of the camino that began to shake and thrash our chariot of hope from side to side while Senor Mario sawed at the wheel screaming ARRR Matie… Shiver me Timbers! Onward we pressed towards the sacred rio and the fulfillment of our longing to once again release the primal scream to the gods of the gorge.
Six gringos and five locals paid the adequate tariff of 16 Lamas and a pint of blood to board the new and improved, (wink wink nod nod, yet to be OSHA approved) twelve string harp of the gorge. I took exception to this adventure electing to sacrifice myself as a living remnant of the team and report on the daily activities… therefore, we stood under the shady cover while enjoying a cool refreshing drink, pork skins and chowing down on some ice cream while those who choose to face death head on while wearing a seatbelt designed for torture, birth control or a new form of S&M bondage straps that world be used at some NSA black site prison. They climbed the totem pole, latched on for the adventure and put their full trust into the local engineers that calculated the correct load to span ratio.
In my lone judgement, the spectrum of flesh appeased the gods with the whirr of the steely strings and screams of terror or joy. In any case, it was difficult to comprehend with one lone exception when I heard Senor Jefe Scorpion King whimper, “I want my mommy!” They were soon released from their straps and rejoined the sane few to begin the second part of our adventure… scurrying between, beneath and behind the falls.
A small group were volentold to jump into the water and deposit an offering so that it might decrease the liquid tension that had arisen in the pool below as to garner safe passage for the souls who dared to challenge the overlord of gravity and water. We perched ourselves high upon the cliffs, straying perilously close to the edge and gain a better vantage point as they disappeared behind the mass of liquid substance crashing down upon the rocks at a breakneck speed. Thankfully they reappeared unscathed but slightly tattered.
Once they changed into a fresh set of clothing and inspecting their own bodies for leaches, we climbed back into the chariot of hope and ventured further up the mountain to summit the plateau and cruise around the lake until we arrived at a recommended Federation outpost and restaurant for lunch…
From the moment we arrived at that destination, we fell into a valley… literally and spiritually. I will not correspond to said events by this form of media, but I will say this. I believe that anyone of the nine other people on this team would and is willing to step it up for each other even in the most disastrous situation and that became apparent this afternoon. I am thankful for each one of them, for Maynor, Daniela, Mario, Pablo, Maynor Dos and all the supporters of this team. I am BLESSED to call all of them Friends and Amigos!