Longtime Foreplay 5 de Mayo

It has been a long time coming, but the craziest hooligans from the land of milk and honey are back in town and we are ready to score a 4.0 in damage!

Our day started in the wee hours of the morning, each team member joining in small clumps until we all ended up at the bottom of the bowl, or Senor Jefe’s home at 2:30 am local. Packing light to minimize the drag of the scrutineering tables both local and abroad. A plan well thought out, but the execution was just plain wrong… more on that later.

The post-Covid world has many new rules and regulation, and if you do not know us by now… we do not do rules well. Special pre paper work and documentation that would even baffle the current administration into a frenzy while looking to the other side posting blame. This is a story that Fox News has lost the opportunity to dwell on for hours on end.

Boarding our first condor went without a hitch. A short jump across the mountains and we arrived in Hotlanta in a flash. Some dined on an early morning cuisine in the Condor nest, while others had filled their bellies with Micky D’s earlier. A short layover and then we boarded the Condor Max… The hope of plusher seats had filled out thoughts when we got the news of seating upgrades… AM of the day inserted here! Once we settled in our sadness, the Condor was pushed back from the nest to take flight once again over Lake Evedin. Alas… our initial journey lasted approximately 100 feet. We sat motionless on the tarmac for several minutes as Capitan Karl Childers AKA Slingblade blurted out over the public address system, “I reckon it ain’t got no gas!” We were then towed back to the nest for a repairs so out journey to the land of Honeydew could continue. 1 hour later, the repairs were complete and we were off into the wild blue yonder.

A 3 hour view from the upgraded seats that included a perfect view of the Condors wing… nourishing. We made up time in the air only arriving slightly behind schedule and disembarked the beast to begin the arduous process of entering a foreign country’s customs and immigration station. The delays in Hotlanta caused us to arrive exactly with all of the other major carriers. So there were about 350 people trying to get the visa stamps and allowed proceed past GO to collect their 200.00 llamas.

The precheck documents were a total waste of time… we were never asked to provide them electronically. Without any carnal knowledge, the authorities had added a new twist to the program. We had to scan a QR code posted on the walls and posts, fill out the declaration form electronically to receive another QR code to be allowed to leave the immigration booth. Hondo and B-Rad chose not to bring their communication devices on the trip… I rushed to complete the forms, but abiding by the Marine Corp mantra, “No one left behind”, I sweet talked the young lady scanning the codes in my best broken Spanish telling her we were “Family” – 3 generations of debauchery came clean through to the other side.

Meanwhile Senor Jefe, Mater and Newbie Spanish John took a side trip to the Banos and got separated from us. I tried to smuggle my phone back thru the glass so they could use my codes, but nope she said, won’t be fooled again. Insert AM of the day 2.0! Again all of this creating another lengthy set of delays. The three of us rush to get our luggage scanned in a sure hope of avoiding the scrutineering tables and meeting My lord and cousin Skinny in the lobby.

Another 45 minute delay, the other three members of our team came thru the doors to be greeted by our old friends. We were whisked away in the autobus and taken to a local restaurant for a quick meal then journeyed up the trail of tears, the original 4 wide on a 2 lane towards the Federation outpost in Quimistan.

All in all it was a very long day for all of us. Mine personally was over 17 hours since it started. I struggled with the thought of writing the blog this evening, but I could hardly contain my excitement on our joyous return! Before we finished our evening in the mess hall, Spanish John found, captured and disposed of one of the local menaces: the dreaded scorpion! The newbie making an impact and trying to take the championship belt away from Senor Jefe Scorpion King.

Good evening form here, we rest and travel to Laguna Del Carmen tomorrow to begin our new project.

Marco Francisco Valle Valle

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